If In vino is veritas, then in puns, there is fun. And when the two are combined, you get a smashing piece of entertainment. Oh yes, you’ve guessed it right, the next item on our every-topic-of-puns roster is wine puns! A drink that has been with us for an inconceivably long time, helped build empires and saw them fall; wine is as much a part of our history as the rise of humankind itself. And with such deep roots and traditions, there’s no wonder that jokes and puns are too, aplenty. Of course, it also helps that some of the grape varieties have either very funny or very punny names, such as Bourboulenc, Steen, Bobal, and many more outrageously hilarious names.
But, before we go on to the clever puns, just a couple of fun facts on wine. For instance, did you know that a Champagne bottle holds the pressure of six atmospheres inside? To make it more relatable, it’s about the same pressure required for truck tires, and if you’ve seen that sucker explode, you might have a fair idea just how forceful the pop of a Champagne bottle cork is. Better not shake it and aim at your friend’s forehead! And one more – shuffling through the pages of wine’s history, it turns out that almost all wines from the Old World (meaning Europe) had once been described as having healing powers. From the reds of Friuli-Venezia Giulia to the whites of Cotes-du-Rhone, they all have seemed to have been medicinal at one time or another. Are they still though? It is not for us to know!
Okay, but let’s go back to our beloved form of entertainment – the clever puns! Just a bit further down, you will find plenty of wine puns for every sommelier and connoisseur. Some are as short as three words (perfect for when you are looking for quick comedic relief); while others tell a longer, but not any less hilarious, story. So, pour yourself a glass of Shiraz or Chablis, get ready for the silliest puns, and just relax for a moment while reading these smart wordplays. After you are done reading these clever puns, vote for the ones that have intoxicated you with their wit the most, and share this article with your fermented grape juice-loving friends!
You’re so vine, you probably think this pun is about you.
Chardonnay or should I go now?
After drinking so much wine, I need a Napa!
It’s wine o’clock somewhere.
I woke up feeling wine.
All hell broke juice at the vineyard!
I’m Bordeaux out of my mind.
Will you accept this Rosé?
It’s going to be a wine-derful day!
Another glass? Wine not?
I need this vacation to help me un-wine.
You’re the wine that I want.
Grape minds think alike.
You’re wine in a million.
Where there’s a wine, there’s a way.
Just a sip to help me un-wine.
Great minds drink alike.
Now you just wait a Prosecco-nd.
Can you read between the wines?
Come to drink of it, we’re going to need more wine.
I’ve got deja vu. I think I’ve vin here before.
This wine is great beyond a raisin-able doubt.
We’re in barrel of running out of wine!
Let’s go Bacchus to the beginning.
I’m going to need a Napa after all this wine!
Beyond any chateau of doubt.
I need to give credit where credit is cru.
You’ll be judged by a Jura of your peers.
That’s a little Primitivo.
You need to keep a merlot profile.
Anything within riesling.
I’m champagne at the bit to get drinking!
Be flute-ful and multiply.
You’ve got quite a vermouth on you!
Did you know there’s actual catbernet tho? It’s liquid catnip.
The only pour decision we see here is that spilled wine.
I fell and Abruzzo-ed my knee.
And they lived happily Eger after.
You’re my only Riesling.
It’s a grape day to be alive!
Do I like wine? You bet Shiraz I do!
Wine on Earth would you say that?
You’re my partner in wine.
Sometimes I make pour decisions.
Dry and large, I don’t like sweet wine.
I’ll make him an offer decant refuse.
Are you feeling oak-ay?
This wine really cask a spell on me.
She’s a loose tannin.
I took the road lees traveled.
America’s must wanted.
Sonoma wines, so little time!
Good things will come to Paso.
Caber-yay, we’re heading to Napa!
That was er-Rhone-eous.
There’s more wine in the Cabernet!
I’m going to Zin you over.
Shiraz to the occasion.
Hakuna Moscato, what a wonderful phrase.
White don’t we order more Chardonnay?
For white it’s worth, I love wine!
In the blanc of an eye, the wine was gone.
Be sure to stop and smell the rosés!
Let’s rosé the roof!
Don’t beat around the blush.
Let’s get fizz-ical with some Champagne!
I’ll cava what she’s having.
I can see things Cristal clear.
Moscatel you everything twice?
Do you think so? Oloroso!
Don’t worry, I’m an ex-port on dessert wine.
If you drink enough, the cats start talking back to you.
We’ve Loire-d our standards.
I got called in for Jura duty.
I prefer wine to Bierzo.
Meet the Cru.It’s just a small filtration. You don’t need to be jealous.
But I’ve got a Blanc space baby.
Wine puns are never in pour taste.
Forever making pour decisions.
All for wine, and wine for all.
Let’s wine things down a bit.
I don’t mean to wine.
It’s a vine of the times.
I like the viner things in life.
Let’s drink some wine — it’s not good to keep things bottled up.
Sorry I’m tipsy, alcohol you later.
I’m ready, willing, and label.
I’ll drink you under the label!
Wine: it’s a cellar’s market.
Don’t fruit the messenger, but I think we’re out of wine.
Don’t take me for decanted.
Now is the vintner of our discontent.
The first rule of flight club is you don’t talk about flight club.
I’ve got a flighting chance.
It’s a pressing in disguise.
Wine is a swirl’s best friend.
Chablis or not Chablis?
He’s a little Lambrusco.
Red my lips: we need more wine!
You’re one in semillon!
Don’t flute the messenger.
More Moet, more problems.
When things are Dom and dusted.
It Sauternes me to say we’re out of wine.
I ne-bermet a wine I didn’t like.
A the vineyard there were some adorable cork-is.
About to make some pour decisions.
Whatever floats your Haut.
She earned her Medoc-torate.
Sonoma-lly I don’t drink this much!
He’s a domestic terroir-ist.
Varietal is the spice of life.