Once a year, people have this weird celebration. A celebration that each and every one of us has, no matter the circumstances. It’s something you were born with and not something you’ve decided on. This celebration might’ve been cast unto you by a generous star alignment, but it might also be spurred into life just by basic biology. For some, it is the happiest day of the year; for others – a day to commemorate the time passing way too rapidly. It’s the day that you saw the world for the first time, and it is called your Natal Day or more commonly known as your Birthday. To mark this truly special and wonderful day, we’ve gathered a gazillion funny birthday quotes, weeded out the sub-par ones, and are presenting you now with only the most hilarious ones to commemorate your day! So yeah, let us finally reach the subject here – this post is dedicated to inspirational birthday quotes with a touch of the funs.
And why shouldn’t your birthday be a fun festivity! After all, you’ve made it through another year alive. It’s especially commendable having in mind that in the last couple of years, we’ve lived through a summary of the whole twentieth century. So pat yourself on the back, at least for that! You could, in theory, also dedicate one of these hilarious birthday quotes to yourself, or, being the kind and caring person that we have no doubt you are – to one of your friends or acquaintances. If a regular birthday is already a divine day, imagine it supplemented by one of these smart quotes. A riot, indeed!
As per usual, the contents that we’ve been talking on and on about are just a smidgen down below. A myriad of only the sweetest birthday quotes that we could find! After you’re done reading them, vote for the ones that you’ve enjoyed the most and share this article with anyone stuck writing a birthday note!
“Inside every older person is a younger person—wondering what the hell happened.” — Jennifer Yane
“The older you get the better you get, unless you are a banana.“ – Betty White
“I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody.“ — George Burns
“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.” — Robert Frost
“I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.” — Phyllis Diller
“You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.” — Ogden Nash
“If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” — Ubie Blake
“Eventually you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.“ — Will Rogers
“You’re not forty, you’re eighteen with twenty-two years experience.“ – Unknown
“Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research.“ — Carl G. Jung
“I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.” — Francis Bacon
“Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.” — Ogden Nash
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” — Lucille Ball
“As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” — Sir Norman Wisdom
“Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece?“ – Bobby Kelton
“Every year on my birthday, I start a new playlist titled after my current age so I can keep track of my favorite songs of the year as a sort of musical diary because I am a teenage girl.“ — Chris Hardwick
“Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty.” — Joan Rivers
“Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.“
“The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything.“ — Oscar Wilde
“Middle age is when you still believe you’ll feel better in the morning.“ — Bob Hope
“Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed.“ – Anthony Powell
“Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s drunk in the kitchen.“ – Jim Gaffigan
“Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.” — Charles Schultz
“Please don’t retouch my wrinkles. It took me so long to earn them.“ — Anna Magnani
“Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.” — Herbert Asquith
“I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.” — Eva Gabor
“The first hundred years are the hardest.“ — Wilson Mizner
“I think all this talk about age is foolish. Every time I’m one year older, everyone else is too.“ — Gloria Swanson
“Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.” — Mary Schmich
“Aging is the worst side effect of birthdays.“
“To my surprise, my 70s are nicer than my 60s and my 60s than my 50s, and I wouldn’t wish my teens and 20s on my enemies.“ — Lionel Blue
“Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.” — Kin Hubbard
“Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.” — Dorothy Canfield Fisher
“You’ve heard of the three ages of man: Youth, middle age, and you’re looking wonderful.” — Cardinal Spellman
“We must both, I’m afraid, recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary.“ — C. S. Lewis
“You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’“ — Jerry Seinfeld
“Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” — Jack Benny
“They tell you that you’ll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it very much.” — Malcolm Cowley
“Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.” — Dave Barry
“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?“ — Satchel Paige
“Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.“ – Truman Capote
“Middle age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature.” — Harold Coffin
“Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.” — Golda Meir
“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” — Maurice Chevalier
“Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine!” — Kate Summers
“From birth to age eighteen, a girl needs good parents. From eighteen to thirty-five, she needs good looks. From thirty-five to fifty-five, she needs a good personality. From fifty-five on, she needs good cash.“ – Sophie Tucker
“For me, the end of childhood came when the number of candles on my birthday cake no longer reflected my age, around 19 or 20. From then on, each candle came to represent an entire decade.“ — Yotam Ottolenghi
“When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.“ – Joan Rivers
“A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.” — Erma Bombeck
“Don’t regret another birthday, the good news is that you are alive and can celebrate it.” — Catherine Pulsifer
“Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” — C.E.M. Joad
“Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.“ — John Glenn
“Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I need an upgrade.“
“One of the best parts of growing older? You can flirt all you like since you’ve become harmless.” — Liz Smith
“You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” — Larry Lorenzoni
“When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.” — Mark Twain
“Romance novels are birthday cake and life is often peanut butter and jelly. I think everyone should have lots of delicious romance novels lying around for those times when the peanut butter of life gets stuck to the roof of your mouth.“ – Janet Evanovich
“There is still no cure for the common birthday.” — John Glenn
“After 30, a body has a mind of its own.” — Bette Midler
“The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it.” — Doris Day
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” — Daniel Francois Esprit Auber
“Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.” — Tom Wilson
“The good thing about getting older is if you don’t want to do something you can say, I’m too old to do that!” — Kate Summers
“Birthdays are a great time to stop and appreciate gravity. Sure, it makes things sag as you get older, but it also keeps your cake from flying all over the room, so you don’t have to chase it.“ – Greg Tamblyn
“Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age.“ — Booth Tarkington
“Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.“ — Douglas Coupland
“Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive, it isn’t.” — Richard Bach
“Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.” — Robert Frost
“If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.” — Euripedes
“When the candles on your cake burn down before they are all lit you know you are getting up there.“ – Catherine Pulsifer
“I believe that no matter what condition you are in when someone close to your heart remembers your birthday and wishes you a happy birthday, you feel happy.“ – A. Singla
“Happy Birthday! How does it feel to be REDACTED years old?“
“First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.” — Leo Rosenberg
“Of late I appear to have reached that stage when people who look old who are only my age.” — Richard Armour
“When you turn thirty, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like your parents.” — Blair Sabol
“At twenty years of age, the will reigns; at thirty, the wit; and at forty, the judgement.“ — Benjamin Franklin
“Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you’re exactly the same.“ — Audrey Hepburn
“I hope your birthday celebration is full of many memorable moments, and that you can actually remember some of them the next day.“
“Don’t just count your years, make your years count.” — George Meredith
“As you get older, though, you realize there are fire extinguishers. You do have an ability to control the flames.” — Chaka Khan
“Turning the big 40, well that can seem like a blow. No worries though as 50 will be here before you know!” — Catherine Pulsifer
“The reason I met my husband was because I remembered a friend’s birthday. The moral of the story is: Remember people’s birthdays.“ — Julianna Margulies
“There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents, and only one for birthday presents, you know.“ — Lewis Carroll
“I don’t pay attention to the number of birthdays. It’s weird when I say I’m 53. It just is crazy that I’m 53. I think I’m very immature. I feel like a kid. That’s why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can’t do certain things anymore–like doing the plank for 10 minutes.“ – Ellen DeGeneres
“A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.” — R. C. Ferguson
“You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” — Woody Allen
“Happy Birthday to you, we hope that all year you never feel blue. Now that you are fifty-five, we hope that you will survive.” — Marcia Goldlist
“You’re in mint condition for a vintage model. Happy Birthday!” — Catherine Pulsifer
“Cakes are special. Every birthday, every celebration ends with something sweet, a cake, and people remember. It’s all about the memories.“ — Buddy Valastro
“I’m six foot eleven. My birthday covers three days.“ – Darryl Dawkins
“We don’t grow old. When we cease to grow, we become old.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.” — Ogden Nash
“It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.” — Brigitte Bardot
“A birth date is a reminder to celebrate the life as well as to update the life.“ — Amit Kalantri
“Every age can be enchanting, provided you live within it.“ — Brigitte Bardot
“The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.“ — H. V. Prochnow
“I like birthday cake. It’s so symbolic. It’s a tempting symbol to load with something more complicated than just ‘Happy birthday!’ because it’s this emblem of childhood and a happy day.“ — Aimee Bender
“We are always the same age inside.“ – Gertrude Stein
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” — Mark Twain
“Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.” — Golda Meir
“Old age deprives the intelligent man only of qualities useless to wisdom.“ – Joseph Joubert